How To Make A Tacky Family Christmas Card (Bloomington – Normal Portrait Photographer)

Step 1:  Decorate hearth with tacky Christmas decorations you normally leave in the garage, including the Jersey Shore ornament and dancing sock monkey elf. (Actually, let’s be honest, I usually put those out anyway.)

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Step 2:  Attempt to get baby to stop crying. Change into ugly sweaters during a commercial break of an intense Broncos game that your husband would prefer to watch instead of taking Christmas photos.

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Step 3:  Send husband to shave beard, leaving mustache, during a commercial break. Ask equally annoyed but very polite brother-in-law to model so you can test lighting.

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Step 4:  Add increasingly annoyed husband to the scene to set up depth of field during pivotal game moment, in which BIL is actually biting his nails. Allow husband to continue holding his beer.

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Step 5:  Clear extraneous items such as sippy cups and cell phones (which are blowing up with angry text messages from fellow Broncos fans angry about Broncos performance) from the portrait set.

20131215_BlogPost_ChristmasCard-7Step 6:  Pause Broncos game and don ugly 1980s glasses. Frantically attempt to get baby to stop crying again and sit still for at least 2 minutes. Ask patient BIL to fire cable shutter release.

20131201_BlogPost_ChristmasCard-1 20131201_BlogPost_ChristmasCard-2Step 7:  Select the most creepy poses, in which husband looks almost too much like a guy that owns a van with no windows, for holiday card. Remove glasses glare for front of card. Create print collage in Lightroom. Make custom card on Picaboo.com.

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20131201_Family_ChristmasCard_Final-2Step 8:  Take tacky clothes to back to Goodwill. Someone else needs them for an Ugly Sweater Party more than you do.

Step 9:  Apply tacky holiday-themed return address labels and stickers that arrive every Christmas from various charity organizations on the envelopes to complete the themed mailing.

Step 10:  Take down tacky decorations and put up real Christmas decorations (optional).

Viola. You’re welcome. Merry Christmas!

-HBA

P.S. Every year we have fun making a memorable holiday card for family, friends, and business  contacts. Check out some previous years’:

  • 2012:  A Tale of Two Cities
  • 2011:  Quakanado, Tebowing, etc.
  • 2010:  Guns and Cameras

P.S.S. This year’s theme was adapted from and originally inspired by the absolutely classic and brilliant Awkward Family 2010 holiday card designed by Bobbi + Mike. Thanks for the inspiration guys!

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About Holly Baumann Photography

I am Holly Baumann Ambuehl, a commercial and portrait photographer based in Central Illinois. My blog posts feature client work, but I just love to write, so I also write about owning a business, food and drink, travel, and my personal life! I am always honored when clients trust me to capture their vision, and equally so when my readers converse with me about what I've photographed or expressed here. I hope we'll have an opportunity to collaborate professionally and/or become friends. I'd love to hear what you think! - Holly
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2 Responses to How To Make A Tacky Family Christmas Card (Bloomington – Normal Portrait Photographer)

  1. Marcela Chyczy says:

    I laughed so hard at this!!! Awesome awesome all the way … Best wishes for this lovely fun family!
    The Chyczy’s

    Like

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