There’s a John Muir quote that I’ve hung on my fridge for years: “Going to the mountains is going home.” There’s something about being in the mountains that simultaneously stills my soul and makes me want to burst out in song (“the hilllllllllls are alive…”). That part of where my heart intersects with Nathan’s. In his vows to me at our wedding, Nathan referenced the John Muir quote, saying that being with me is being home.
I love being married. At first, it didn’t feel different than being together, but not married. But with time, the trust grows, the bond gets stronger, the security goes deeper, and you are changed forever. I love this man. I feel undeservedly blessed, and honored that he chose to share his life with me. Our honeymoon in Europe trip together was such a special time, and it was so fun to see Europe through his eyes, and watch his wonder.
So many memories to cherish!
What a happy hour spot, eh?
The trip became a photography workshop for Nathan. I am so proud of him – he is shooting fully manually already with the Leica and will be my next guest blogger! We will be full fledged photography business partners in a matter of time, I am sure. How fun would that be?
As we wandered around Klosters, Nathan wondered aloud, “I just can’t figure out why my ancestors would have LEFT this place.” We laughed. I said, “But if they hadn’t, you wouldn’t exist.” We marvelled how such life choices ripple for many generations.
In my relatively short life thus far, I’ve wandered through over twenty countries, lived in many states, seen large cities and small towns. I’ve seen great luxury, and great suffering. I’ve experienced the generosity of the poor and the greed of the wealthy, and everything in between. As a result of my experiences, I’ve sought jobs in which I can attempt to alleviate some of the ugliness and pain that weighs down this earth.
There are many moments in which I’ve felt satisfied, victorious, effective. But there are far more when I feel small, powerless, ineffective, insignificant, and defeated. Sometimes, I feel time swooshing by so quickly that it takes my breath away. In my worst moments, I fear there is no point in trying. That my small life cannot possibly make a difference in the enormity of the world’s suffering and the infinity of time.
Exploring our roots together really got me thinking… The Ambuehls left Switzerland over 150 years ago; the Dippolds left Germany around the same time, and my grandfather left Germany almost 100 years ago.
Those relatively small choices in the vastness of human history made Nathan’s and my love possible. I’m grateful to them. I want to tell them; I wish they could know: Your lives were significant. You helped create this mysterious thing that Nathan and I now share.
Nathan and I occupy a tiny, fleeting space in time together. I imagine who will come after us, and I wonder how the choices we are making now, as we become an “us” and attempt to live out our values and dreams, will impact them.
I pray they are as blessed as we are. – HBA